Sleepovers, nights out and endless chats –friends are so much fun!
Friends are always there to hear you out, to cheer you on and to lend a helping hand, but when those chats turn into fights, cheers turn into boos and smiles turn into tears or frowns, maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship.
Is this relationship really all worth it?
When you feel like you can’t be yourself, or it’s always you who’s doing the ‘giving’ or you’re just not happy anymore, these may be signs of a toxic relationship. Whether this relationship is 7 days, 7 months or 7 years long, you need to do something about it:
Diagnose – Assess the relationship.
Look at it from an outsider’s perspective. Step back and try to look at the dynamics as if it’s happening to someone else. Are they treating this person well? Does this person look happy in their company? Does it look like they want to hang out again? If you answered yes, there is something to save. If it’s a no, this might be a toxic relationship.
Accept – See things for what they are.
When you realize you’re in this relationship predicament, the only way you can face it is to do so head on and accept that it’s happening. If this person is treating you in a condescending way, without respect or is just plain awful, you need to acknowledge it! Don’t give excuses for them! “No. It was my fault, anyway.”“Yeah, he’s just joking.” or “Maybe she’s just having a bad day?” If you turn a blind eye, you turn back on ever moving forward.
Act – Make your move.
You don’t have control over others, but you do have control over yourself. If you know that the relationship isn’t fair, do something about it. Try telling this person how you feel; you might just be having a rough patch. Try setting your boundaries. Know and convey when enough is enough. Don’t let them step on you! When all else fails, set a last straw. If they cross the line, it’s your sign to end the relationship.
Manage – Mingle with other people.
It can be difficult to cut ties with someone you’ve called a ‘friend’, but when both of you aren’t growing anymore, then is this really a healthy relationship? It may not seem so right now, but there are other people who can and will appreciate you more. Take it as a challenge to find new and better relationships. Just remember, it’s not the end of the world –just the end of a relationship.
Yes, it can be hard but down the road, you’re doing each other a favor. People will come and go, so learn what you can from every relationship. Find the people who’ll be worth your time, effort and affection, and who will inspire you to grow and become a better person.
Learn how to build healthy relationships. Learn the Art of Social Success with JRP.